Beyond distilled vinegar and baking soda

The most exciting part of my day was trying something that I had pinned onto my cleaning/home décor Pinterest board. I washed my towels with white distilled vinegar and baking soda. This is not my life. However, I highly recommend white vinegar and baking soda for ANY cleaning purpose 😉 But, seriously……this is not my life. I desire greatness. Is there anything wrong with that? I believe that God created us with a desire to experience beauty and greatness on a daily basis. I have come to the conclusion that this world is what destroys that desire and bullies us into submission. Our responsibilities of work and bills hold us prisoner and keep us from what we really want to do in life. These past few months, I have found myself in a place of discontent. That is actually putting it nicely. Who am I kidding, who am I trying to impress here?! I am just straight up pissed! I have these desires. I have desires to taste great food, experience different cultures and to see amazing sights. I have a desire to explore my creativity and love of meeting new people. All of these deep wants to explore are stunted by the realization that all of the above would take time and money. I’ve got the money, but I really should save it and have a cushion for…..you know life. I have the time on the “books”, but then I wouldn’t have any time left when I got back. Lord, I want to live, not just exist. I’m a firm believer that money doesn’t buy happiness. Hollywood is a shining example of this. Some of the richest people in the world are also the loneliest and unhappiest. I know money doesn’t buy happiness, but I really feel like it would make life easier and perhaps more interesting. I have found myself on this sickening roller coaster of life approaches. One week, I’m buckling down and saving because I need to be a responsible adult and the next week, I’m looking into planning a trip to Europe. I’m taking off and leaving my responsibilities behind. I know however, that those same responsibilities will be there when I get back and then I just think, “why leave at all? This is flawed thinking and I know this. I’m currently trying to figure out how to experience the world and have a nice savings account all at the same time. I will let you know when I figure it out 😉 I have this idea that keeps popping into my head. I don’t pursue it. Why don’t I pursue it, you ask? I have no idea. I am so envious of those people that take that leap, step outside of their comfort zone and truly live how they had always imagined. I guess, if I answered honestly, I would say that I don’t pursue my idea because I’m afraid that it won’t fly. Right now I can dream about it working. If I actually pursue the option and fail, I no longer have the dream.

Within the past couple of years I have been introduced to children’s books and how much they really speak to the heart of adults. I received a Dr. Seuss book from my former coworkers after graduating with my Master’s Degree titled, “Oh The Places You Will Go.” The other book, “What Do You Do With An Idea?”, I purchased on my own. I try to read it regularly because the words on the pages describe exactly how I feel about my idea. The main character had the same thoughts that go through my head!

I worried what others would think.

What would people say about my idea?

I kept it to myself. I hid it away and didn’t talk about it.

I tried to act like everything was the same as it was before my idea showed up.

But there was something magical about my idea.

I had to admit, I felt better and happier when it was around.

A child’s book spoke to my heart!! There WAS something magical about my idea and I absolutely felt better when it was around. I want to do something that pays the bills and inspires my heart. Is that so much to ask?! Perhaps it is, but I won’t give up yet. I desire greatness and I don’t think I would want it any other way. The definition of complacency is, “self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies.” I believe I am danger. We are all in danger of becoming comfortable and not making the necessary changes that could transform our lives. I also believe that I am deficient unless I am continually moving forward. So here is to exploring as much as possible, even if it means in a smaller radius than I would hope for, for the time being 😉

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